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Why women go wild for strippers
When women behave like animals and the world says “Yes!”
Last week, I wrote a story about a new version of an old pub that had opened in the heart of Brisbane’s justice precinct as a boobie-bar, as well as blogs about sex, sex toys and double standards.
One reader cleverly combined the two themes in an email that presents today’s discussion topic:
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When it comes to strippers, why are women able to get away with the sort of behaviour that would see blokes castrated?
“Hi Kat
Enjoy having a read of your column, but the entry today did remind me of something I have always wondered about.
I have been to strip shows aimed predominantly at men where the punters are mostly well behaved and keep their hands to themselves.
I have also seen a strip show by men aimed at women where the performers literally come out with scratches and their clothes torn from their female audience.
That would simply not be allowed in the reverse situation
I have never been sure why there is this difference in behaviour and often wondered if this is why woman don’t like their men going to strip clubs as they think men behave in that manner.
Keep up the good work,
Mr Man.”
Well, Mr Man, I too have been to strip clubs where women behave abominably – howling, screaming, scratching, tearing and objectifying the hell out of the bloke paid to shake his body in their wild-eyed faces. In this crowd I felt embarrassed to be a woman, embarrassed to be watching a strip show and embarrassed for the stripper who smiled through it all.
The same red-faced awkwardness was totally absent on the few occasions that I have visited strip clubs featuring women.
Why is this?
I think it has a lot to do with conventional sexual power dynamics and the skewed view on consent they present.
Consent should be thought of in equitable terms – a takes-two-to-tango decree. But female consent has accrued more import than male consent, due to a historical imbalance of power and the assumption that men will never not say yes to sexual activity.
But in this age where equality is socially and politically supported, we shouldn’t let ancient patriarchal norms govern our views on consent anymore than we should pretend all men think, feel, act and desire the same (guys, you’re individuals, aren’t you?).
And while some men, maybe even most men, may think it quaint I suggest a woman should ask nicely before doing sex to them, and only do it if the answer is ‘yes’, the fact remains, even horny-as-hell blokes should think about being asked nicely first. It’s only manners. And manners are the cornerstone of civilised society.
Herein lies another theory of mine: women behave in an uncivilised manner around male strippers because, unlike men, they lack years of civilising experience with sexually provocative performance.
The whole idea that women can ogle male bodies, and desire them, publicly, is a notion that’s only recently crawled out of the deep pool of lusty carnal history.
Thus, women don’t have a history of entertaining courtesans in private dining rooms with friends to fall back on, hence, crude behaviour. And there’s also the fact women are generally pretty darn excited that Carrie and the gals made it OK to do what we probably always wanted to do, even before the Bronte sisters wrote out the sex fantasies of the weaker sex in all their broody, animal glory.
So perhaps women need to develop the same sort of gentlemen’s agreement that prevails among well bred blokes which insists upon decorous treatment of all, including those who strip for a living.
What do you think?
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/blogs/citykat/why-women-go-wild-for-strippers-20110920-1kjdk.html#ixzz1YlKid6BK
